The speaker in this story has some insecurities. He wishes he could go up to the front of the train and look out the window, but doesn't want to appear odd to anyone around him. He's very self conscious about how people around him see him. He has these issues because his mother is depressed, and sometimes he can hear her crying about how she wishes she had never had kids. This can have a huge impact on a kid's self-esteem. I think his experience with Herbie has helped him. He takes note at how Herbie, even though mentally handicapped, is completely confident in his actions, and goes up to the front of the train and steers it with his toy. He just waltzes up there. This has impacted the speaker greatly, and the next day, he has gained enough confidence to go up and do what he wanted to to: look out the front window.
This story relates to my life in the way that I used to be very self-conscious about everything I ever did in social situations. Social anxiety used to defeat me, but when I gained a few friends with confidence, I noticed I became more like them over time, and I'm doing much better. This video comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zzfdlxjx4Y
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